Turn on the Light

Week of April 8-14

Once upon a time, I had nothing to be afraid of. Other than that one Are You Afraid of the Darkepisode with the pool monster that smelled like rotten eggs, adolescent Morgan was blissfully unfazed by the world around her. In fact, when I was six years old, I created my own stand-up comedy routine and performed it in front of my entire elementary school, without even breaking a sweat, because I knew without a doubt that I was HILARIOUS. I regaled anyone that would listen of my plans to grow up to be Whoopi Goldberg. I lived an authentic and unfiltered life until the day that fear took over like a noxious weed, choking out the fiery spirit that had always glowed within me. I have the most vivid memory of sitting on the concrete steps outside of my school, waiting in shame for Mom to come pick me up for the third time that week because I couldn’t make it through the school day. I remember feeling an intense sorrow, and in that moment I believed that things would never go back to the way they were, and that this all-encompassing sadness was the new me. For a nine-year old, this dementor-style doom and gloom was a pretty heavy burden to bear. I wonder what my patronus animal-representative would have been. Maybe a jellyfish. I really liked jellyfish.

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Wicapi Omani

Week of April 1-7

I’ve realized that I can’t always post about the ways in which I challenge myself each week. While I am a fairly open person, as you might have guessed if you have read any prior entries, there are some less-than-pleasant examples of bravery that are off limits for me, particularly when other people are involved. So, I haven’t written anything for two weeks, but maybe just trust me that I am a woman of my word and I have attempted some gutsy stuff recently? I wouldn’t lie to you. Honest!

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Guider of Girls

Week of March 11-17

Does anyone else experience the phenomenon I have termed “shower dread?” This bizarre happening occurs when it is most definitely time for you to take a shower, as determined by the grease in your hair and potentially an odour wafting from under your arms, but this voice inside your head tells you “nah, you’re totally fine to skip one today.” You then spend ten minutes in front of the mirror trying to create a hairstyle that will magically disguise the natural oils begging to be rinsed out, and slathering on a couple extra layers of deodorant, until you finally admit that your efforts are futile and jump in the shower anyway. But once you find yourself under the steady stream of gloriously warm water and the steam begins to filter through your nasal passages, you think to yourself, why did I not want this? This is the best part of existence and I could live right here in this moment for eternity. You finally force yourself out of this curtained cubicle of bliss and transition back to reality with a rejuvenated love of life. I was just going to scroll through my Facebook newsfeed, but now that I’ve showered, maybe I’ll pick up all of the thawed dog poop in the backyard… you think to yourself.

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void setup ( ) { self-doubt }

Week of March 4-10

Currently, my little town of Armstrong is shrouded in clear blue skies. There’s also this strange, bright orb rising in the east; it reminds me of the moon, but it hurts my eyes when I look at it. This neon ball is triggering vague memories for me, as if I’ve seen it before, but a gruelling passage of time has made me forget. I can’t even recall its name. Shinshone? Sanshine? Why am I suddenly associating it with Teletubbies and a laughing baby?

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Say Cheeze!

February 24 to March 3

Whoops! I maybe accidentally but totally consciously missed a week of writing and scaring myself. Dozens of unsatisfied followers were calling, texting, messaging, and spontaneously combusting, all in wonderment of why this blog hadn’t been updated with a new post (I may have fabricated that entire statement). All I can say is, sorry! I’ll blame it on a case of jetlag clingier than a static ridden sundress lodged in a butt-crack, and I promise to do better from here on out.

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I Remain Unvanquished

January 7-February 15

Somehow, like a balloon that you released at the fair when you were eight and now feel guilty about seventeen years later because you know it probably ended up in a whale’s stomach, time has slipped away, and our five-week adventure has reached its conclusion. Generally I suffer from the nomad’s affliction of post-travel depression, but I feel so satisfied with the time we spent abroad that the memories are enough to keep me continuously smiling… plus coming home to our own toilet is a blessing in itself. I’m going to try my darndest to not drone on for eternity, but c’mon, it’s been five weeks! I’ve got a lot of ground to cover, here. FYI, the title of this post comes from the motto of Clan Armstrong, who I may or may not be descended from. They were a borders clan notorious for stealing livestock. That must be where I get my love of pillaging roosters from.

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BeLonging

Week of January 1-6

Today I missed out (spoiler alert) on a wonderful opportunity to vacate my realm of comfort and learn a little more about how others see the world. During an errand run, I noticed two people sitting in chairs, stationed just outside of a Tim Horton’s. Beside them was a banner that read “JW,” so I pieced together that they must be Jehovah’s Witnesses camped out on a Saturday morning in the hopes of sharing their beliefs with passers-by. Rather than avoid this interaction, like so many of us are guilty of doing, I decided that I would approach the pair and initiate a conversation. I suddenly realized that it has been my instinct for so long to duck and cover from religious campaigners of any denomination, that I couldn’t recall a time that I had actually stopped and listened to what they had to say. Then, I started to think about how, in so many ways, these two Jehovah’s Witnesses are the epitome of brave living. Think about it. Despite all of the flack they must face- the slamming doors, the avoidance of eye contact, the sneers, the scoffs, the ears that don’t seem to be working- this couple sat there in the drizzling rain, authentically occupying space and unapologetically promoting a cause that they truly believe will bring peace and joy to this needy world. Basically, they’re kicking my butt at this whole courage thing, so I figured I should go check them out.

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